Throwback Thursdays

page 15 of 365

Let me take you back into time today for Throwback Thursday!! Here's an excerpt from my journal....

May 26, 2008

I met a guy. I met him a while back through mutual friends. I found him interesting, smart and quite attractive but I also found him very “taken”. We hung out together as friends, joked on how he hates the Red Sox and I responded with utter disgust on his Yanks but while we were joking, the universe was awaiting to play a little “joke” on me. He had a party. I attended. Much to my surprise, it was a time of utter drunkenness as well as a time of revelation for the both of us. While he partied, he stared. When the alcohol level in him bore him a new self-confidence, he walked over to me. He thanked me for coming. I did not understand the big deal as he commented that he “expected” everyone else at his fiasco but my appearance there made him a very happy 30-year old man. I speculated at his words and it wasn’t until a second later, when he confessed the attraction for me, that I was left without a thought. I reacted with similarity and we proceeded to converse about past blemishes and utter bad timing for the both of us. I must have been really drunk to not notice the words that I would somehow never speak had I been sober. It would not have been my doing to continue the wretched conversation that night via text messages had it not been for the most legal of drugs. I pondered at what would happen if we were caught, or what would happen if I were to fall in love with him, but it only lasted another mere second and the thought of loving someone else overpowered my morality.

We spent days texting each other and were finally scheduled to reunite physically. I was nervous at first of his significant other. Would it show? Did she know and was she going to confront me today? Was she the one that was writing the text messages and playing it off like it was him so she could catch me in the act? How would I react to his presence? Would everyone sense the weirdness between us? Paranoia set in and as she made her way into the kitchen and acted as if she did not have a clue, I was able to loosen up. The good thing was that there were so many things going on and distractions that for a while it took the focus off the both of us. That night, he dropped me off home. I was thankful and let him use my restroom while his “family” waited for him downstairs. He came out the bathroom and I held his hand, caressed his face and kissed his neck. This led to a very beautiful kiss; One that I was not expecting but longing all night for. I again, felt guilty. I again, felt like a total moron. I spent the next day thinking of him, wishing he would text me….just to ask him about the kiss…but in the time I had to think, I realized that I was getting attached and it would not be a good idea to continue. He conceded. This concludes my very bad joke.